Med School Recap Week 9: Insert Sassy Subtitle Here

1. This is the part where they bring in the puppies, right? It has gotten to the point where there aren’t any “tough weeks” that stick out. It’s just a long trek in the snow both ways putting one foot in front of the other and praying that we get to the end without freezing solid. (Our brains, that is.) We are past the point of “can you deal with med school,” to the point of “can you deal with med school AND this other really hard thing that would knock you flat all on its own.” I’m just gonna go ahead and say UNCLE. Seriously, a room full of puppies and perhaps a foot massage would go SO far.
2. We have two weeks left in our first block of medical school. Everyone is all, “OH! We get a WHOLE WEEK OFF!!! WOOHOOOO!” I hate to be a hag, but uh, think about how fast a weekend flies by when there’s an exam on Monday. Block break is going to make that look like slow-mo.
3. So this week was the one where my anchor in the hurricane (not Joaquin) R-U-N-N-O-F-T to Nashville for THREE DAYS. John had this big trip planned, and I gave him a watery smile and a thumb’s up that we would be just fine while he had a good time. As far as he knows, everything is fine, and we are all in one piece. And actually, I managed to keep everything in working order AND I had dinner with the kids (well last night only one kid was home) AT the table every night he was gone. The fire alarm only went off once, which is really funny since we had delivery…
4. I had my first standardized patient this week. I’m not allowed to talk about it, but I had it. I won’t reveal any specifics about my case, but there are a few things I think I CAN say about it. First, I REALLY struggled not breaking character. I am a super honest person, and one of the things that helps me when I meet someone new is relating to them on an awkward level and making jokes. So I felt like a dirty liar through the whole thing because I was pretending to be a doctor and the patient was pretending to be a patient, and even the vitals were LIES. Second, there was this crazy mischievous streak in me that REALLY wanted to bust the patient’s story. Like, I wanted to ask questions that I KNEW they weren’t prepared for JUST TO MAKE THEM CRACK. I might be truly evil. Don’t tell anyone.
5. A rumor in medical school goes viral in 3.7 seconds flat. I thought maybe since we were all gunners and super-focused on our studying that this kind of nonsense wouldn’t be an issue. I was WRONG. We are all super tired of learning about the pentose phosphate pathway, and a little juicy gossip is JUST the thing for a little break in the monotony. It’s relieving and disturbing all at once.
6. Stethoscopes are kind of a big deal. Also, pretty expensive, so a big commitment as well. Everyone is starting to buzz about what kind they have, or what kind they hope to get from their family for the White Coat ceremony. Some people are REALLY opinionated about which one to get, even though they have never used one. It kinda sounds like adopting a dog, or having a baby. I’m the goofball in the corner that just wants mine to be PURPLE!
7. So that comment about weekends before Monday exams is actually a thing this weekend, so I’d better get to it. Hang in with me, there’s only two more weeks in this block!